Pain, grief, depression, guilt, and other forms of fear go away when you focus the mind on the loving peace of this moment.
You can choose between love or fear only in the present moment. This choice is made instant by instant. In this holy instant, there are no worries or stress. There is only peace. Your peace is gone as soon as you allow any thoughts to enter your mind that are not exactly what you experiencing in this moment.
There is a quote from the Vietnamese Zen master Thich Nhat Hanh that reflects this principle very well:
“If while washing dishes, we think only of the cup of tea that awaits us, thus hurrying to get the dishes out of the way as if they were a nuisance, then we are not “washing the dishes to wash the dishes.”
What’s more, we are not alive during the time we are washing the dishes. In fact, we are completely incapable of realizing the miracle of life while standing at the sink. If we can’t wash the dishes, the chances are we won’t be able to drink our tea either. While drinking the cup of tea, we will only be thinking of other things, barely aware of the cup in our hands. Thus we are sucked away into the future, and we are incapable of actually living one minute of life.”
Living in the present moment requires practice because you are used to living in the past or the future. Every time you realize you are doing it, bring your mind back to the present. Focus totally on what you are doing. When you do, you will see that the only thing you feel is peace.
To achieve this it is necessary that you forgive your past and this includes everyone, but mainly you. Ask your Higher Self, or whoever you turn to when you need higher help, to help you see what your participation was in what happened and what lesson you have to learn from the experience. I have no doubt that little by little you will achieve it and there will be fewer and fewer times that your mind will leave from the precious moment that you are living.