Forgiving, in this sense, is not what you usually know as forgiving. It is not looking at someone who “did” something to you and saying, I forgive you, but I do not forget.
I have mentioned in other blogs that when you see something in another person, it is a projection of that something within you. Your thoughts make you vibrate to a certain level. If you have negative thoughts, you will have a denser vibration. If your thoughts are positive, you will have a higher vibration.
By the law of attraction, you will attract people who have a similar vibration into your life. When that person you attract does things that you don’t like about yourself, and you don’t accept that you have them, it will make you very angry. You may think it is unforgivable. If you remove that person from your life because what they did to you is unforgivable and you don’t heal it in you, someone else with similar characteristics will come.
Those unforgivable acts, whether they come from someone else or you, come from the part of the mind that A Course in Miracles calls the ego. It is the part that believes that it is separate from God. The one that considers itself to be a sinner when in reality, our true being is still united to the Creator and is pure love.
Forgiveness in this principle means to see beyond the act to the true being who is perfect and always loving. It is seeing the other as our mirror and being able to look inside to be able to recognize what we have to heal. In other words, see the other as my teacher.
Forgiving does not mean that we accept the wrongdoing of another person. Forgiveness is an internal correction that makes our hearts feel lighter and frees us to live in the present, to live in love. It’s mostly for our peace of mind. By being in peace and love, we can extend them to others, which is the most valuable gift we can give.
Susan S. Trout, Ph.D., discusses these principles in her book To See Differently, where she tells the story of this lady and her family who spent years hating and wanting to take revenge on the person who murdered their 18 year old daughter. The anger and pain consumed them all.
After years she and her husband decided to confront the murderer in jail to ask him why he had murdered their daughter. When they faced him, the hatred that had consumed them suddenly disappeared, and they felt love for him. They were able to recognize his human condition and his pain. Seeing this, they felt compassion and love. They realized that he, too, was suffering from what he had done.
This is an example of what it means to see beyond the act to the person’s true essence of love. It is what the principle calls forgiveness.
When we choose to see everyone as teachers of forgiveness, each moment allows us to be happy and in peace and love.