Believe it or not, you’ve always attracted the relationship you’ve wanted. What happens is that, perhaps, you have created it unconsciously, imitating:
• The pattern established by your parents
• How your siblings related to each other
• How your parents related to you.
By living these relationships you came to conclusions about relationships. This caused your unconscious thoughts to attract the relationships you’ve had. Now you’ll learn how to consciously create them. Here are the steps to do it:
• Make a list and write MY IDEAL LOVING RELATIONSHIP above. Then make a list of the qualities you want in a relationship. Be specific. This is your order to the universe and the Universe always says YES. Don’t limit yourself, put everything you want. At the bottom of the page write THIS OR SOMETHING BETTER COMES TO ME, EASILY AND PLEASANTLY, and FOR THE GOOD OF ALL THE PEOPLE INVOLVED. THANKS GOD.
• Make a special Treasure Map for your ideal relationship. The theme should be a perfect romantic relationship and should include all aspects of your relationship: physical, mental, and spiritual. Find photos that describe what you want.
• Complete the past. Start with your parents and siblings and end any incomplete relationships you’ve had.
• Prepare for your new relationship. Discard all memories of past relationships that represent a bond to that person. If he has left clothes or items at your house, return them. Clean your closet, desk, drawers, kitchen etc. Make energetic space for new things.
• Create awareness of your patterns. Make a list of all the reasons your previous relationships ended to see if you see similarities. For each reason write on a piece of paper “the reason why I create this in my life is….” Do this several times until you realize what your lesson is. Take responsibility for creating them, without blaming anyone else. If you don’t realize what you are doing, you will never be able to change it. Once you create consciousness, every time a similar situation returns to your life say NO.
• Make a list of your 10 favorite pleasures. Check off the ones that you have regularly experienced in your last significant relationship. Commit to having more pleasure in your life.
• Discover the most negative thought you have about yourself and create awareness every time it is activated in your life. Transform this thought into an affirmation and make it your Eternal Law. For example, if you think you are not important, change it to “I am the most important person in the Universe.”
• Develop good self-esteem.
• Learn to be alone and enjoy it.
• Take risks. Ask for what you want. Say yes when you want and no when you don’t want to. Learn to feel good when people say no, without feeling rejected. Be more assertive.
• Do what you enjoy.
• Keep your eyes open. Remember that you are looking for someone who does not fit into your usual pattern, so you have to train yourself.
• Start with a friendship. Don’t get into a sexual relationship too quickly. This creates a false sense of intimacy before it is real.
• When you start dating someone you care about, look at both the good and the bad. Don’t be blind.
- Learn to tell the truth fast.
- Be you, not the person the other wants you to be.
• Create a phrase that once one of you begins to say it, the other is committed to saying it as well. The sentence should be long enough so that neither of you keeps thinking the negative thought that started it. An example would be: We are having a wonderful relationship, full of love, understanding, good communication, respect, prosperity, wisdom, harmony, of total expression, living in spacious and beautiful places and enjoying more and more every day.
• Tell each other I LOVE YOU often.
• At the beginning of the relationship, do not force the other one to have obligations to the other’s family. This comes over time and has to come naturally.
• Choose the form you want your relationship to take. Remember each relationship is different and each couple is the one that determines the form. The important thing is that both agree.
• Focus on the positive.
• Never get married until you feel married.
• Develop friendships with other couples of similar tastes and attitudes.
(These ideas were taken from the book Two Hearts Are Better Than One by Bob Mandel.)