Another very powerful technique that helps us forgive is the Forgiveness Diet. This leads us to forgive our primary relationships, so that in our present or future relationships we don’t have to keep repeating the same unresolved issues.
• Take several papers and divide them in two by drawing a line down the center from top to bottom.
• In this exercise, you are going to write, on the left side of the paper, 70 times for 7 days the following statement:
• I, (HERE YOUR NAME), FORGIVE (HERE YOU PUT THE NAME YOU CALLED YOUR DAD or your father figure) UNCONDITIONALLY.
After you finish the 7 days, you will do the same with the following people:
• Mother or mother figure
• Siblings (each individually)
• And anyone else who had a great influence on your childhood. That can include teachers, neighbors, relatives, as long as it has marked your life in some way.
Sometimes the resentment we have with the person we are forgiving is such that we cannot end it that day. When it is unconscious, what we will notice is a great resistance to finish the exercise. It does not matter, the next day you try again, until you complete the 7 days. As you end up with one person, start with the other.
This happened to me when I did the exercise. I always thought that the one I had to forgive the most was my father and that since I had an excellent relationship with my mother, hers would be easy. What a surprise I found. With my dad I finished it in a week. With my mom, I couldn’t finish even the first day. Every day I tried and couldn’t go on. I would become very anxious. Finally, after a few days, a very unconscious thought came out that I didn’t even know was there.
Take a good look at the thoughts that arise as you do the exercise and write them on the right side of the page. That is your unconscious speaking. Pay attention to it.
At the end of the exercise, turn each negative thought into a positive one. For example, if when you are doing the forgiveness exercise with your brother the thought that arises is “why am I going to forgive him if he never had time for me” you change it to “my brother always has time for me.” That way you are reprogramming your mind.
As I indicated in another blog, affirmations are always made in the present, as if everything is already given.
This is a very powerful exercise. You can do it as many times as necessary. Remember that we heal to the extent that we are prepared to do so. Once you can go deeper, situations will arise that will signal that the time has come to work with the next layer of the situation. Forgiveness, which is the key to our liberation, is a continuum.