You are depriving me…

It is interesting to live with other people. If we are alert, we learn many things about ourselves. As I have mentioned in other blogs, we are always a mirror of each other.

When I was a child, my father would lie down reading, and any noise bothered him. Like children, my siblings and I played and made noises with our laughter and screams. My mother would come running and tell us to be quiet because we were bothering my father. After hearing that statement so many times, you can imagine that one of the thoughts that stayed in my mind is that I bother people.

In our walk through life, once we understand that what we see outside of us is, actually, a projection of our thoughts unto another person, the interactions become very interesting. We stop blaming others and start looking for the thought we are projecting. It’s like a detective game.

With that in mind, I’ll tell you about my latest experience. Carla, my daughter-in-law, works from home. She spends all day in the office. On many occasions, I have offered to help her with something. For example, putting her clothes in the washing machine or washing her dishes. She always answered me, no, thanks. I can do it later.

After listening to that for a long time, I decided to talk to her, and the conversation was most interesting. I said, Carla, why is it that that you never allow me to help you? Don’t you like other people touching your things? No, she answers me. It is that I think that I bother people, she answered me.

Here it is, I said to myself. My thought that I bother people, which I believed I had already healed, is reflected here. That showed me that there are still some lingering thoughts still rooted within me that I need to heal. If we can see our exchanges in this way, we see where we are in our process of fully awakening in consciousness.

But it did not stop there. After thinking for a few minutes about what Carla told me, I asked her if she did not feel happy when she helped someone, and she said that she did. Then I told her, well, you are depriving me of feeling happy when I do something for you.

To help each other in raising our consciousness, we agreed that if I offered to help her with something and she refused, I would tell her as a reminder: “You are depriving me.”

I invite you to see the exchanges in life in this way. It is much more exciting and less painful.

Trust the Universe

It is interesting to see how life brings us what we need at the precise moment. After living in Florida for 14 years, alone and happy since I adjusted to the fact that my husband had passed away, my youngest son, Pedro, and his wife, Carla, suggested that I sell my house, they would sell their apartment. Then, we would buy something appropriate so that they, my granddaughter, and I could live together. At first, I was shocked. How was I going to lose what I identified as my independence? One day I thought I would and another I changed my mind and would decide to stay in my house.

Pedro and Carla lived in Florida five minutes from my house when this happened, and the oldest, Juan C., had lived in Southern California for about 20 years. Without me having decided yet, Pedro got a job in Southern California, and they were all moving there.

I immediately decided to go with them, but I set some conditions of how the house needed a specific distribution to feel that I had my area separate from theirs.

For several months we were looking for a house to rent and there were always about ten people before us. Since Pedro had to be at his work, we decided to set off with the moving truck and our cars on the 5-day adventure driving across the United States.

We decided that when we got to California, we would stay in an Airbnb until we got a house, and at that point, it would be the first house we found. We just wanted a roof and rooms to sleep in.

A week before we started our adventure, a real estate broker called us about a house we had applied for, but someone had already rented. She told us that the contract with the previous person had fallen through and that the house was ours if we wanted it.

We immediately said yes without seeing it. When we arrived and saw the house, the house was exactly what we needed and that Carla and I had been visualizing. The first thing I thought when I saw it was, “why do you doubt if you know that the things you need are always given to you at the perfect time”?

Now we are together, but each has its space. My son’s family is on the second floor with three bedrooms and a loft, and I with my “suite” on the first.

If we could trust 100% in something superior to ourselves, let’s call it God, Supreme Intelligence, whatever, constantly giving us what we need, we would have a lot less stress in our lives. As our thoughts are our molds, in this case, it was the distribution of the house that Carla and I wanted, it is essential to be aware of what message we are sending to the Universe. The Universe always says yes. It does not analyze to see if it suits us or not. That is up to us.

Health before anything

The secret to a healthy body is a healthy mind, free from vibrations of fear, stress, repressed and unconscious negative thoughts, negative emotions, such as anger, resentment, judgments, etc. 

To free yourself from all that and have good health, you must raise your vibrational level. You achieve this by getting in touch with the most subtle energy that exists, the energy of love. This energy begins cleaning these blocked negative energies, which, if not transmuted, manifest in the physical body in the form of diseases.

Behind every illness, there is a thought and a repressed emotion. The thought is mostly unconscious and the emotion sometimes terrifies us. But if you only deal with the physical manifestation and not its cause, then it will manifest again in the future. That is why it is so essential to get in touch with those thoughts and emotions.

Different types of emotions have different vibrational levels. As I have explained in previous blogs, you attract into your life by the law of attraction, what you are, how you vibrate. If you have negative energies suppressed, you will attract diseases of similar energy. What you have to do is raise your vibration.

Therefore, instead of hating or resenting the condition, send it love. Start by accepting it and learning the lesson you have from it. Once you achieve this, by changing the energy, the condition changes.

If you are not healthy, it is because, at some level, you derive a benefit from it. If you want to have good health, you must do a profound analysis of the benefit you derive. This analysis can be:

• If you learned from a young age to receive love and attention when you were sick;

• If it is the way you allow yourself to rest if you lead an overly hectic life;

• If it is a way to control others.

• Anyway, there can be thousands of reasons why you want to be unconsciously ill.

If you want to be healthy, find the benefit to understand that illness is not necessary. That there are other healthy ways to achieve the same thing.

Joan Borysenko, Ph.D., in her book Minding the Body, Mending the Mind, recommends several ideas necessary to achieve prosperity in health:

1. You cannot control the external circumstances of your life, but you can control your reactions to them.

2. Optimal health is the product of both physical and mental factors. Therefore, exercise your body, eat mindfully, and meditate daily.

3. Think of yourself as healthy.

4. Things change. Change is the only constant in life.

5. Your beliefs are incredibly powerful.

6. The only way to escape stress, fear, and doubt is to confront them directly and see them for what they are.

7. Emotions fall into two broad categories, fear, and love.

8. Do you prefer to be right, or do you prefer to experience peace?

9. Accept yourself as you are.

10. Practice forgiveness.

11. Be open to the teachings of life.

12. Be patient.

Do you know how to give and receive?

I recently mentioned in another blog that giving and receiving are the same. Since a relationship is a perfect laboratory for healing, I will examine one way this principle manifests itself.

At all times, you are giving and receiving, even if you don’t realize it. Everything is energy, and you are in a constant exchange of energy with other people.

You are constantly giving and receiving through thought. Creating awareness of these is your responsibility. In this way, you will only be giving positive and uplifting thoughts.

It is essential to establish a balance between giving and receiving in a relationship, be it a couple, friendship, family, etc. To establish this balance, it is fundamental to feel that you are worthy of receiving.

As long as you are open to receive and willing to give, there will be a balance in this energetic exchange. It is when you close yourself to receiving or are unable to give that you create an imbalance.

This imbalance often causes resentment in those who give all the time without feeling they are receiving or those who receive without feeling they are giving.

In the special relationships that A Course in Miracles mentions, where we unconsciously seek a relationship to fill some void, the saying that opposites attract has its truth. Often, one who doesn’t know how to give will attract someone who needs to learn to receive and vice versa.

I have previously said that what we see outside is a mirror of what we have inside. I recommend that you stop the blaming game and start looking inside. If the other person complains you don’t give them what they need or don’t know how to receive, stop and listen. Look for your thoughts that are not allowing you to give or to receive. If you want to raise your consciousness, see the other person as your teacher and be grateful that they are there to teach you what you need to learn.

As giving and receiving is the same, start giving what you want to receive, and you will see how everything changes. As energy returns multiplied to the place of origin, you will not only notice the happiness of giving, but to the extent that you give, you will receive.

You receive love by giving it. But remember that true giving is unconditional and expects nothing in return.

Are you brave or fearful?

Changing your mistaken thoughts to thoughts of love is for brave people. Once you decide to do it, the only way that you can transform them is when they come out of your unconscious so that you can look at them and accept that they are your thoughts.

This decision sometimes brings a lot of emotional pain. When you decide that you want to look at them head-on and heal whatever they mean to you, your Holy Spirit or Higher Self will attract circumstances into your life that force you to look at them and change them. Therefore, if you have decided to grow in awareness, the road can be full of ups and downs when life brings you opportunities to grow. Don’t be scared. They are just thoughts and emotions with which you have been carrying from a very young age.

These are the steps that I use when I am experiencing a time of great pain or turmoil:

1. First of all, I accept responsibility. I don’t blame whatever is outside of me but rather acknowledge that some thought of mine drew it to me so that I can heal it. Sometimes I know what thought is, sometimes I don’t. But I know that it is always my thought and not what someone said or did outside of me. This step takes me out of the victim role where I think someone did something to me.

2. I turn to the Holy Spirit (HS) in me. I speak to that part of me as if it were a friend. I say something like this: HS, I am feeling very lonely. (Here, I recognize how I feel). I know that comes from my thought that I don’t belong, but I don’t know how to change it. (Here, I assume responsibility). I hand over my thought to you so that you can help me see it differently, and I can forgive myself for having thought like that. (I deliver it to a higher level)

I don’t know if it was Einstein, but some wise man said that we can’t solve a problem on the same level it was created. You have to go to a higher level.

These simple steps, if you do them every time you are not at peace, which is your true essence, can help you in several ways:

1. You immediately step out of the victim role. When you project your thoughts outside and blame someone because they “did” something to you, you get tangled up in the world of the ego, that is, in your thoughts that tell you that you are separated from God and everything else. This idea causes a lot of fear and any of its ramifications like guilt, anger, etc. In order not to feel them, you project them to the one who is outside of you.

2. You take back your power. When you are a victim, you have to wait for the other person or situation to change to be happy. By regaining your power, you can be happy just by changing your perception to one of love. It is being able to see beyond appearances to the perfect being in front of you, who, with his behavior, is telling you that he is unhappy and needs love. When you manage to do this every time something takes away your peace, little by little, it becomes natural and effortless.

It depends on you. In every moment, you can choose peace. And if you fail, choose again.

Principle 9: “We are students and teachers to each other.”

There is an interconnection between everything in the Universe. At that level, everything is one unit. There is no separation. What a person does has repercussions throughout the Universe. The Universal Laws govern this dimension.

Sometimes there are situations in your life, just like you were thinking about a friend and the phone rings and it’s her, and you say, what a coincidence. The psychologist Carl Jung called this synchronicity when events occur where something beyond the causal relationship is involved.

There are neither coincidences nor synchronicities. In reality, teachers and students come together when both are ready to begin healing. What you see outside is a projection of your thoughts. You are always looking at yourself in a mirror. All the people and situations that you have in your life are there because you have something to learn from them. Here the law of magnetism and the law of attraction is at stake. I have talked about them on other blogs.

As you understand the mirror theory and use it for your growth, you take advantage of these “teachers” to see which are your thoughts are projected outside. If you take responsibility for your projected thoughts, your relationships will become more and more harmonious.

That teacher helps you see things that you have within you that you have forgotten or that are so deep in the unconscious that you have not identified them. The best teachers are your family relationships because it is with whom you spend the most time. They can be adults or children. Age doesn’t matter. It’s your reaction to them.

But they don’t have to be people. They can be objects, animals, governments, entities, etc. So if you react to anything in any way other than love, you have to look inward and see what about you they are reflecting.

The same is true in reverse. For that teacher of yours, you are his teacher. There is a saying in Puerto Rico that says, “hunger and the desire to eat come together.”

When you manage to integrate this principle into your life, all your relationships will change. You come out of your role as a victim when you stop thinking that someone did something to you, and you become the primary role of your healing. Then, you recognize that you are only love, and you begin to extend it to all the people you meet. What a wonderful way to live!

Principle 6: We can learn to love ourselves and others by forgiving rather than judging.

Forgiving, in this sense, is not what you usually know as forgiving. It is not looking at someone who “did” something to you and saying, I forgive you, but I do not forget.

I have mentioned in other blogs that when you see something in another person, it is a projection of that something within you. Your thoughts make you vibrate to a certain level. If you have negative thoughts, you will have a denser vibration. If your thoughts are positive, you will have a higher vibration.

 By the law of attraction, you will attract people who have a similar vibration into your life. When that person you attract does things that you don’t like about yourself, and you don’t accept that you have them, it will make you very angry. You may think it is unforgivable. If you remove that person from your life because what they did to you is unforgivable and you don’t heal it in you, someone else with similar characteristics will come.

Those unforgivable acts, whether they come from someone else or you, come from the part of the mind that A Course in Miracles calls the ego. It is the part that believes that it is separate from God. The one that considers itself to be a sinner when in reality, our true being is still united to the Creator and is pure love.

Forgiveness in this principle means to see beyond the act to the true being who is perfect and always loving. It is seeing the other as our mirror and being able to look inside to be able to recognize what we have to heal. In other words, see the other as my teacher.

Forgiving does not mean that we accept the wrongdoing of another person. Forgiveness is an internal correction that makes our hearts feel lighter and frees us to live in the present, to live in love. It’s mostly for our peace of mind. By being in peace and love, we can extend them to others, which is the most valuable gift we can give.

Susan S. Trout, Ph.D., discusses these principles in her book To See Differently, where she tells the story of this lady and her family who spent years hating and wanting to take revenge on the person who murdered their 18 year old daughter. The anger and pain consumed them all.

After years she and her husband decided to confront the murderer in jail to ask him why he had murdered their daughter. When they faced him, the hatred that had consumed them suddenly disappeared, and they felt love for him. They were able to recognize his human condition and his pain. Seeing this, they felt compassion and love. They realized that he, too, was suffering from what he had done.

This is an example of what it means to see beyond the act to the person’s true essence of love. It is what the principle calls forgiveness.

When we choose to see everyone as teachers of forgiveness, each moment allows us to be happy and in peace and love.

Principle 4: We can let go of the past and the future

To give love freely, principle 4, which says that “we can let go of the past and the future,” helps us.  Imagine yourself living with anger or feelings of guilt about what happened to you, or what didn’t happen to you, what you did or didn’t do, or, on the contrary, fearing the future because you think it will be a repetition of our past. In that case, you’re not going to seize the only real moment you have, which is the present moment.

Your responsibility is to forgive the past, let go of it and not project it into the future so that you can freely give love and start each new day or each new relationship, enjoying how wonderful it can bring to our life.

 I once had lunch with a lawyer who began to tell me about her ex-husband. From the way she spoke, I thought that she had just divorced him because I saw her suffering and with a lot of anger. When I asked her, she told me that she had been divorced for ten years. I couldn’t believe it. She spent ten years living in the past, so she didn’t enjoy the present moment. She didn’t know how to live the previous principle.

When you judge someone or repeat in your mind things that happened in the past, not only do you continue living the same drama in your present, but you deprive yourself of having peace. The past lives in your mind. It no longer exists. But you relive it every time you think of it.

The same goes for the future. If you worry about what may happen in your future, you are projecting situations that have already happened. As your thinking is creative, you continue to recreate the same that’s in your mind. Did you know that about 90% of the things you worry about don’t happen? What a waste of time where you could have enjoyed your life.

Both recreating your past and worrying about the future deprive you of enjoying every moment with what life brings you. Let go of what happened, forgive whoever hurt you, and forgive yourself. Without forgiving, you will not be able to enjoy every moment. Have you heard the saying “the past is gone, the future has not arrived, the only thing that exists is the present”? Apply it to your life, and you will have a full and loving life.

Principle 3: Giving and receiving are the same.

The vast majority of people think that if they give something, they have less because they think only of the world of forms. So if I have $10.00 and I give you $5.00, of course, I only have half left. I call this a scarcity mentality.

As I have mentioned in other blogs, there are spiritual or universal laws. These laws deal with a higher dimension where everything is energy. At this level, what I give comes back to me. Things that we perceive as materials are made up of energy. What I give is preceded by a thought of giving. Considering that energy is electromagnetic, that energy joins the energies that comprise creation and, by the law of magnetism, attract similar energies that return to me multiplied.

Let’s see this in action. I once read the story of a woman who had recently moved to New York and knew no one. To make matters worse, shortly after arriving, her husband left her. Christmas came, and she felt like the most lonely and miserable being. She couldn’t handle the depression. She began to think about others who were worse off than her and called a center that fed the homeless and asked if she could volunteer that night. After serving and giving love to these people, she felt so much peace and love that she thought that this was the best Christmas day she had ever spent in her life.

She managed to live the third principle of Attitude Healing that says that Giving and receiving are the same. When we focus on giving and bonding with others, fear goes away, and we accept mental healing for ourselves.

When we give, we are not thinking of anything other than extending love. There is no room in our minds for fear. When we feel that love, our natural inclination is to want to share it and, when we share it, everything else ceases to exist in our mind. So if we give love, we receive love. If we forgive, we receive forgiveness, and so on. I invite you to give only love.

Principle 2: Health is inner peace. Healing is letting go of fear

When talking about healing, these principles don’t refer to the healing of the body but of the mind. That’s why the second principle states that Health is inner peace and that healing is letting go of fear.

When our goal is to change the body, we forget that our only goal is peace of mind. We will never know true peace as long as we think we are vulnerable. Our true being is eternal and doesn’t suffer from anything.

I know many people who are healthy in body but don’t have inner peace. They are disease-free but unhappy. That is because they are full of fear, fear of scarcity, fear of loneliness, fear of the future. In short, they have their minds set on things that take away their peace.

On the other hand, I had a friend who got cancer in his forties. He chose not to have any invasive treatment. Many people, blind to the reality of our being, began to judge him and say what he had to do because they understood that he had to undergo chemotherapy or radiotherapy, surgery, etc., to heal his body.

The rest of the people were hysterical, but he was at peace. He knew he wasn’t that body and chose to leave it alone. His body never healed, and he died, but he was healthy because he had peace of mind. He wasn’t afraid of death. That is true health.

A Course in Miracles tells us: I want the peace of God. The peace of God is everything I want. The peace of God is my one goal; the aim of all my living here, the end I seek, my purpose and my function and my life, while I abide where I am not home. I am not a body. I am free. For I am still as God created me. (W-p1.205.rVI.1:6)  

We are pure love. The body is only a vehicle we have to experience and learn from a life in the physical world of matter. When we leave it because it no longer serves us, our essence or pure love continues to exist in another dimension and continues its evolution and learning at other levels. We are eternal. It depends on us, as we decide whether to focus on love or fear, if we will be at peace or if we are going to suffer on our journey on Earth. What are you going to choose?