Who is reacting, an adult or a child?

Sometimes we react in a certain way and then we wonder, where did that come from?

Have you heard of the inner child? When we suffered traumas as children, or our emotional needs were not nurtured, or it could be that we were not allowed to express anger and we repressed it, that injured part is called the inner child. In general, the adult’s reaction will coincide with the age when his emotional development as a child was not completed. Until we claim and heal this inner child, it will continue to contaminate our adult life, creating endless insecurities and problems. To heal your inner child the following things are important:

a) Rediscover and practice being yourself.

b) Identify your needs.

c) Practice getting your needs met with people who support you. Here it is important to practice asking.

d) Identify your injuries. Re-experience your pain with people who support you.

e) Identify and work with your essential problem areas. Some of these can be:

• control issues

• trust issues

• healing of feelings

• being overly responsible

• neglecting your needs

• all or nothing thinking or behavior

• high tolerance for inappropriate behavior

• low self esteem

• problems being real or authentic

• mourning your unmourned losses

These changes are not made from one day to the next. They require a lot of self-observation and patience and loving oneself. Little by little you will realize if it’s the adult acting or if it’s the child, and, in this way, you will discover your own being.

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