Recently over two weeks, two women were murdered in Puerto Rico by their partners. I’m sure that you can replace the place and put any country and it would be the same.
Although in most cases the abusers are men, there are cases in which the abused is male, either by someone of the same or opposite sex. This blog is for both.
In the article entitled Understanding and addressing violence against women, the World Health Organization and the Pan American Health Organization https://oig.cepal.org/sites/default/files/20184_violenciapareja.pdf, explain the following:
Intimate partner violence refers to any behavior, within an intimate relationship, that causes or may cause physical, mental, or sexual harm to the members of the relationship. Some examples are listed below:
• Physical assaults, for example, slapping, hitting, kicking, or hitting.
• Sexual violence, for example, forced sex and other forms of sexual coercion.
• Emotional abuse, for example by insults, denigration, constant humiliation or intimidation (such as destroying objects), threats to cause harm, or to take children.
• Controlling and dominating behaviors, for example isolating a person from her family and friends, monitoring her movements, and restricting her access to financial resources, employment, education, or health care
Here are some things abusers do or say:
• You made me do this.
• You provoked me
• Bring you flowers or gifts and promise that it will never happen again.
In the previous article, the World Health Organization and the Pan American Health Organization indicate these parameters that must be met to eliminate the abuse of women:
• reform of legal frameworks in civil and criminal matters;
• dissemination and awareness campaigns to make the current legislation better known; F
• strengthening the civil rights of women in relation to divorce, property, and child support and custody;
• formation of coalitions between government and civil society institutions;
• establishment of the evidence base for sensitization and awareness raising;
• use of communication aimed at behavioral change to achieve social changes;
• transformation of entire institutions in each sector using the gender perspective; in particular, integrate attention to violence against women in sexual and reproductive health services;
• promoting the social and economic empowerment of women and girls;
• generation of comprehensive responses from services to survivors of intimate partner violence in the communities;
• creation of life skills programs and school curricula;
• encouraging the participation of men and boys to promote non-violence and gender equality;
• and offering early intervention services to families at risk.
A Course in Miracles expresses the following: You are free to believe what you want, and your actions bear witness to what you believe. (ACIM T.1. II.1.9) In other words, it’s not what they tell you, it’s what they do that determines how a person thinks. If you are in an abusive relationship, the abuser will not change. The abuse will continue. Run away, get help, do whatever it takes to protect yourself and your children.