In the previous blog, I explained what a special relationship is. A special relationship becomes a holy relationship in what the Course calls the holy instant.
As Kenneth Wapnick explains in his Glossary-Index to A Course in Miracles, the holy instant is the interval of time in which we choose forgiveness instead of guilt..; it is an expression of our little willingness to live in the present…
As I mentioned in the blog of the special relationship, in this type of relationship, which is what we are used to living, as long as the other acts as we expect, we are happy. When it changes, we are unhappy and begin to blame them for our unhappiness.
When you learn to see things differently and understand the difference between being in the ego or the Holy Spirit, fear or love, you begin to see the relationship with other eyes and another purpose.
My thermometer to know whether or not I am in the ego is my inner peace. I learned to be very attentive to my feelings. As soon as I realize that I am not at peace, I stop. I admit that some thought of mine is taking peace away from me (I do not blame anyone). The next step I take is to hand over everything to the Holy Spirit, which is that part of me that knows it is connected to God.
When you are in a relationship, and you already know that in essence, we are all One, the other person is in your life to help you heal and raise your consciousness. Any situation that takes away your peace shows you the unconscious areas you have to heal. In other words, each one is the mirror of the other’s unconscious.
In the holy relationship, you stop seeing the other person as someone who should fill your voids and insecurities. Both begin to see themselves as allies in their mutual paths of awakening.
Although situations will arise where one will draw out the other’s anger and unconscious fears, both recognize that this is the primary purpose of being together. They breathe deeply to return to peace, they hand it over to the Holy Spirit to help them see the situation from love and not from fear, and without a doubt, it will. Once forgiveness is given, which is ultimately to ourselves, since everything arises from our thoughts seen outside, they live another holy instant.
The holy relationship is the most glorious way to live.