Relationship with Our Children

Kahlil Gibran’s message that our children are not our children but children of the world who come through us should guide our relationship with them and be present within us even before we bring them into the world. The reward that parents have for accepting to be the channel of these beings who come to continue their evolution is the sublime experience of unconditional love that a child awakens in his parents.

With this thought of helping them in their development:

• It’s our responsibility as parents to guide them from a young age to find their mission in life.

• To discover the commitment they made to themselves before coming.

• We can do that not only by allowing them to develop their skills and talents, but by encouraging them to do so.

We all come with specific talents. These talents are what will direct us towards our mission. And how do we know what our mission is? The internal compass is our satisfaction and love for what we do. This will be learned by our children by our example.

• If we are working or doing what we love, satisfaction for our effort will be obvious.

• If, on the contrary, we do something that we don’t like, just because we are making money, to please others, or because of what others will say, we’ll be unhappy and that’s what they’ll learn.

The only way for them to discover their talents is by experiencing different things. Many times we as parents want to encase our children in what we believe is good for them.

• We force them to take classes in things that we like, without being aware of whether that’s what they like.

• Other times, children want to take classes in something that they later discover wasn’t what they wanted, and parents insist that they continue what they started.

There’s a fine line between leaving something because I don’t like it and leaving something because it’s becoming difficult for me. The way to find out is by learning to listen to what the heart tells us.

• We can help our children a lot by teaching them to be silent. As long as the mind is active we can’t listen to the heart.

• We teach them best by our example.

• Creating a habit in the family to dedicate a specific time each day to quiet the mind is the best gift we can give our children since it’ll serve them for a lifetime.

Balance is what determines whether we have inner peace or not. When our life is out of balance, because we are dedicating our time to one thing in neglect of others, chaos is created.

• One way for our children to learn this balance is by directing them to pay attention to nature and the teachings it offers us about harmony between its different elements.

• Through nature they also understand that change is an integral part of life and that it’s not to be feared.

• It’s through change that new things come into our lives.

• If we cling to the known we’ll deprive ourselves of new enriching experiences.

  • With our example we also teach them that the Universe speaks to us, but we have to learn to listen to it.

• When obstacles constantly appear in your way, it’s a way the Universe has to tell you, you’re going the wrong way.

• If we persist in continuing to struggle, we teach them that life is a struggle.

• If, on the other hand, we pause, knowing that the right moment will be shown to us, we will teach them to be patient or to discern if it’s the right time for them.

• If in our interaction with other family members we impose our criteria, we are teaching them to be selfish.

• If, on the contrary, we listen and take into account what other people think, we teach them healthy coexistence and respect for others.

It is a great privilege to be a parent. Much of the path of our children’s development depends on us.

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