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Principle 6: We can learn to love ourselves and others by forgiving rather than judging.

Forgiving, in this sense, is not what you usually know as forgiving. It is not looking at someone who “did” something to you and saying, I forgive you, but I do not forget.

I have mentioned in other blogs that when you see something in another person, it is a projection of that something within you. Your thoughts make you vibrate to a certain level. If you have negative thoughts, you will have a denser vibration. If your thoughts are positive, you will have a higher vibration.

 By the law of attraction, you will attract people who have a similar vibration into your life. When that person you attract does things that you don’t like about yourself, and you don’t accept that you have them, it will make you very angry. You may think it is unforgivable. If you remove that person from your life because what they did to you is unforgivable and you don’t heal it in you, someone else with similar characteristics will come.

Those unforgivable acts, whether they come from someone else or you, come from the part of the mind that A Course in Miracles calls the ego. It is the part that believes that it is separate from God. The one that considers itself to be a sinner when in reality, our true being is still united to the Creator and is pure love.

Forgiveness in this principle means to see beyond the act to the true being who is perfect and always loving. It is seeing the other as our mirror and being able to look inside to be able to recognize what we have to heal. In other words, see the other as my teacher.

Forgiving does not mean that we accept the wrongdoing of another person. Forgiveness is an internal correction that makes our hearts feel lighter and frees us to live in the present, to live in love. It’s mostly for our peace of mind. By being in peace and love, we can extend them to others, which is the most valuable gift we can give.

Susan S. Trout, Ph.D., discusses these principles in her book To See Differently, where she tells the story of this lady and her family who spent years hating and wanting to take revenge on the person who murdered their 18 year old daughter. The anger and pain consumed them all.

After years she and her husband decided to confront the murderer in jail to ask him why he had murdered their daughter. When they faced him, the hatred that had consumed them suddenly disappeared, and they felt love for him. They were able to recognize his human condition and his pain. Seeing this, they felt compassion and love. They realized that he, too, was suffering from what he had done.

This is an example of what it means to see beyond the act to the person’s true essence of love. It is what the principle calls forgiveness.

When we choose to see everyone as teachers of forgiveness, each moment allows us to be happy and in peace and love.

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Principle 4: We can let go of the past and the future

To give love freely, principle 4, which says that “we can let go of the past and the future,” helps us.  Imagine yourself living with anger or feelings of guilt about what happened to you, or what didn’t happen to you, what you did or didn’t do, or, on the contrary, fearing the future because you think it will be a repetition of our past. In that case, you’re not going to seize the only real moment you have, which is the present moment.

Your responsibility is to forgive the past, let go of it and not project it into the future so that you can freely give love and start each new day or each new relationship, enjoying how wonderful it can bring to our life.

 I once had lunch with a lawyer who began to tell me about her ex-husband. From the way she spoke, I thought that she had just divorced him because I saw her suffering and with a lot of anger. When I asked her, she told me that she had been divorced for ten years. I couldn’t believe it. She spent ten years living in the past, so she didn’t enjoy the present moment. She didn’t know how to live the previous principle.

When you judge someone or repeat in your mind things that happened in the past, not only do you continue living the same drama in your present, but you deprive yourself of having peace. The past lives in your mind. It no longer exists. But you relive it every time you think of it.

The same goes for the future. If you worry about what may happen in your future, you are projecting situations that have already happened. As your thinking is creative, you continue to recreate the same that’s in your mind. Did you know that about 90% of the things you worry about don’t happen? What a waste of time where you could have enjoyed your life.

Both recreating your past and worrying about the future deprive you of enjoying every moment with what life brings you. Let go of what happened, forgive whoever hurt you, and forgive yourself. Without forgiving, you will not be able to enjoy every moment. Have you heard the saying “the past is gone, the future has not arrived, the only thing that exists is the present”? Apply it to your life, and you will have a full and loving life.

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Principle 3: Giving and receiving are the same.

The vast majority of people think that if they give something, they have less because they think only of the world of forms. So if I have $10.00 and I give you $5.00, of course, I only have half left. I call this a scarcity mentality.

As I have mentioned in other blogs, there are spiritual or universal laws. These laws deal with a higher dimension where everything is energy. At this level, what I give comes back to me. Things that we perceive as materials are made up of energy. What I give is preceded by a thought of giving. Considering that energy is electromagnetic, that energy joins the energies that comprise creation and, by the law of magnetism, attract similar energies that return to me multiplied.

Let’s see this in action. I once read the story of a woman who had recently moved to New York and knew no one. To make matters worse, shortly after arriving, her husband left her. Christmas came, and she felt like the most lonely and miserable being. She couldn’t handle the depression. She began to think about others who were worse off than her and called a center that fed the homeless and asked if she could volunteer that night. After serving and giving love to these people, she felt so much peace and love that she thought that this was the best Christmas day she had ever spent in her life.

She managed to live the third principle of Attitude Healing that says that Giving and receiving are the same. When we focus on giving and bonding with others, fear goes away, and we accept mental healing for ourselves.

When we give, we are not thinking of anything other than extending love. There is no room in our minds for fear. When we feel that love, our natural inclination is to want to share it and, when we share it, everything else ceases to exist in our mind. So if we give love, we receive love. If we forgive, we receive forgiveness, and so on. I invite you to give only love.

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Principle 2: Health is inner peace. Healing is letting go of fear

When talking about healing, these principles don’t refer to the healing of the body but of the mind. That’s why the second principle states that Health is inner peace and that healing is letting go of fear.

When our goal is to change the body, we forget that our only goal is peace of mind. We will never know true peace as long as we think we are vulnerable. Our true being is eternal and doesn’t suffer from anything.

I know many people who are healthy in body but don’t have inner peace. They are disease-free but unhappy. That is because they are full of fear, fear of scarcity, fear of loneliness, fear of the future. In short, they have their minds set on things that take away their peace.

On the other hand, I had a friend who got cancer in his forties. He chose not to have any invasive treatment. Many people, blind to the reality of our being, began to judge him and say what he had to do because they understood that he had to undergo chemotherapy or radiotherapy, surgery, etc., to heal his body.

The rest of the people were hysterical, but he was at peace. He knew he wasn’t that body and chose to leave it alone. His body never healed, and he died, but he was healthy because he had peace of mind. He wasn’t afraid of death. That is true health.

A Course in Miracles tells us: I want the peace of God. The peace of God is everything I want. The peace of God is my one goal; the aim of all my living here, the end I seek, my purpose and my function and my life, while I abide where I am not home. I am not a body. I am free. For I am still as God created me. (W-p1.205.rVI.1:6)  

We are pure love. The body is only a vehicle we have to experience and learn from a life in the physical world of matter. When we leave it because it no longer serves us, our essence or pure love continues to exist in another dimension and continues its evolution and learning at other levels. We are eternal. It depends on us, as we decide whether to focus on love or fear, if we will be at peace or if we are going to suffer on our journey on Earth. What are you going to choose?

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First Principle: The essence of our being is love.

The first principle of Attitude Healing says that the essence of our being is love. Love is eternal. The mind is unlimited; nothing is impossible. This principle is based on the premise that our true identity is spiritual rather than physical. Love is the part of us that is real.

And what is love? Love cannot be defined. It is an energy that contains everything that is Real, that which comes from the Creator. It is the unity of all that Is. It is the total absence of fear, which comes from the ego or thought of separation.

A few years ago, I went for hypnosis to see if it could improve my claustrophobia. I had a very interesting experience. Already immersed in the hypnotic state, the doctor told me to go to the first moment where I had felt claustrophobic. I immediately saw myself stuck alive inside a coffin in a boat that was going down a river. You can imagine the claustrophobia and fear that I began to feel at that moment. As soon as this state of claustrophobia began, the doctor told me to go to a place of peace. It’s incredible how instantaneously I went from fear to love, merely by concentrating on peace.

To begin to change the thoughts of fear that I had in my mind, the doctor reminded me that I was not that body, that my true essence is love, that my being is unbreakable and perfect. He told my unconscious mind that my body can die or get sick but that my being, which is love, is eternal. Having managed to feel that love that I am, devoid of all fear, has helped me tremendously all my life. I was able to experience in a moment of hypnosis that where I put my mind will determine if I am at peace and love or fear. It is as simple as that. Are you not at peace? Change your thoughts and choose again.

You don’t have to be in a hypnotic state to feel your essence. By closing your eyes and taking a few deep breaths disconnecting from your scary thoughts, or in a meditative state, you can feel it. Practice it until you make it. In this way, every time you find yourself disconnected from your true essence, by doing this process, you reconnect to the love you are.

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Look beyond appearances

A Course in Miracles reads, “Appearances deceive, but can be changed. Reality, is changeless. It does not deceive at all, and if you fail to see beyond appearances you are deceived. For everything you see will change; and yet you thought it real before, and now you think it real again. “(T-30.VIII.1.1-4)

And what are appearances, and what is reality? For the Course, what you see from your ego-mind are appearances since you can see a situation or a person in one way today and tomorrow in another. What is real never changes. Your real self is that part of you that knows that it has never separated from God. Reality is love, wisdom, compassion. Appearances are the product of judgment, of your perception of the moment. That is why it changes.

I’m going to give you a life situation so you can see it live and in full color. You project what you think outward and it’s what you know as the circumstances of your life. You see them and feel them as if they were real but if you change your way of thinking, tomorrow you will see them differently.

Imagine that you have a very unconscious thought that says that you don’t deserve and you can fill in the blank to what it is that you don’t deserve. It could be many things.

You have an appointment at 6 pm with your boyfriend whose cell phone ran out of battery. When he leaves to pick you up, he finds an accident on the road and he can’t call you to warn you. He arrives at 7 pm to pick you up.

All that time you’ve been furious because, at some level, you felt like you didn’t deserve him to call you. You aren’t going to see it that clearly because it’s in your subconscious but that’s the reason you are reacting like this. You think that he is inconsiderate, that he doesn’t love you enough, and many other thoughts that make you unhappy. When he comes you insult him without letting him speak. And you are sure that you have every reason to feel that way and to react as you are doing.

When he manages to explain what happened, you feel very badly for having reacted like that. Now you see the same event differently. What you saw, which was real to you, were only appearances that arose from your perception of the situation.

Reality is unchangeable. If instead of seeing the situation from your negative thoughts you had seen them through love, no matter what happened you would’ve been at peace at all times. You would’ve thought that your partner is a being of love and nobility and that if he didn’t arrive on time it had nothing to do with him or with you but with some circumstance beyond him. You wouldn’t have judged him and when he arrived you would have been in total love since that’s your true nature.

If you practice seeing things from love instead of from your mistaken perceptions, each time it’ll become easier and you’ll have many more moments of peace. You’ll be much more frequently in the reality of your being, which is love, rather than in the perceptions of the ego, which is fear. Try it.

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Do you live in the present?

Definitely, one of the things that I came to heal in this life, was my feeling that I was worthless, that I was not important enough. From a very young age I had an emptiness inside of me. Since I didn’t know anything about what I’m trying to teach here, I always thought that when something happened in my future, then, I would be happy.

When I was in first grade, it was going to be when I made my first communion. Then when I graduated from eighth grade and so on. Of course, when events came I was happy for a while and then the emptiness returned.

To a greater or lesser degree, we all do the same thing. We have expectations of our future. These expectations do not allow us to enjoy our present, which is the only thing we have.

The same happens when our mind is always in the past, thinking, consciously or unconsciously, that the future is going to be the same. This back and forth between what happened and what may happen causes fear and anxiety and doesn’t really lead to anything positive.

You are creating your life instant by instant. And how do you create it?

  • Live in the present moment all the time fully enjoying what you are living. Don’t wait to enjoy things when the perfect occasion comes. The perfect moment is now. Use it now.
  • Be alert to your thoughts about what you are experiencing, knowing that you created what you have with what you thought in the past.
  • If you attracted something that you don’t like, don’t judge it. The energy that judgment produces will bring you more of the same.
  • Accept whatever you are living and, if it’s not what you want, commit to changing the thought that produced it to a positive one.

The past is gone, it’s just an idea, a memory, and the future isn’t here yet, it’s also in your in. Live your present fully which is the only thing you have.

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When love ends

Sol Gordon, in his book Why Love is not Enough says that:

• If the pain of being with the person you love is greater than the happiness

you share …

• If your love is more a burden than a pleasure…

• If you feel desperate or alone when you are with your partner, but close to him or her, in some way, when you are apart …

• If the idea of ​​not finding another person terrifies you…

• If your partner’s behavior dominates you and takes you to the point of

   despair and loss of dignity …

Then it is time to let go of your relationship.

The end of a relationship is one of the most difficult and painful things. However, if you end a relationship with respect and consideration for the other person, the process of healing and emotional separation will be much smoother.

There are several things that can help you at this time:

• First, remember that this person was important to you in the past.

• Do not do anything out of spite or revenge. The Universe is in charge of balancing energies and that includes harmful acts.

• If they hurt you, that person will already have to learn their lessons. Do not do anything that increases what you have to learn.

• If there are children involved, the one who leaves is also their father or mother. Do not say or do anything to antagonize your children with them. You would do the most damage to your children. Children know that they have a part of their father and mother. If they think one of them is bad, they end up thinking that they must have something bad too.

• Read the previous blog on effective communication carefully and apply all the techniques in this relationship that is ending. When there are children, the only thing that ends is the marriage, the relationship will continue for life.

• One of the things that will help you overcome the pain the most is accepting that the relationship is over. What keeps you tied to the past the most is thinking that maybe he’ll call … maybe he’ll regret it … if I had done (or said) … When I was going through the pain of a relationship that ended, a person told me not to think so much about it. When I asked how… he said “well, change the tape (the cassette.) Whenever it comes to mind, think of something else. Remember that you are the one who controls what you think. It’s not the other way around.

• Don’t idealize the person. See things as they happened. If he hurt you, if he belittled you etc. don’t justify the behavior. Such behavior is not acceptable under any circumstances.

• Don’t project your feelings onto that person or make up what they must be thinking. The one who loves you treats you with love. He who treats you with a lack of love doesn’t love you.

• Share with people who support you. This is a time that you need to surround yourself with people who understand and love you.

• However, also spend time alone. It’s in those moments that you give yourself permission to vent. Crying is very healthy. It’s the way that God gave us to cleanse the soul.

• Once you feel like it, find something you like to do and do it. Maybe you always wanted to take a class or learn something. Now is the time to do it.

• Love yourself, eat well, get a massage, and enjoy nature. Do anything but start a new relationship.

 Once you are ready to start a new relationship, it is important to assume your share of responsibility for the failure of the old one.

• I invite you to make a list of your behavior that contributed to it not working and how you can change that behavior.

• Also, do another of your partner’s behavior, so that you are clear what kind of partner you are attracting.

• See how this behavior resembles the behavior of one of your parents.

• Realize that you didn’t choose that partner by chance.

  • You will attract in the couple you choose what you didn’t heal with your parents, in order to realize that you still have things to forgive. It is with forgiving your parents that you have to work so that you don’t repeat the same thing in another relationship.
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How to Create the Relationship I Want

Believe it or not, you’ve always attracted the relationship you’ve wanted. What happens is that, perhaps, you have created it unconsciously, imitating:

• The pattern established by your parents

• How your siblings related to each other

• How your parents related to you.

By living these relationships you came to conclusions about relationships. This caused your unconscious thoughts to attract the relationships you’ve had. Now you’ll learn how to consciously create them. Here are the steps to do it:

• Make a list and write MY IDEAL LOVING RELATIONSHIP above. Then make a list of the qualities you want in a relationship. Be specific. This is your order to the universe and the Universe always says YES. Don’t limit yourself, put everything you want. At the bottom of the page write THIS OR SOMETHING BETTER COMES TO ME, EASILY AND PLEASANTLY, and FOR THE GOOD OF ALL THE PEOPLE INVOLVED. THANKS GOD.

• Make a special Treasure Map for your ideal relationship. The theme should be a perfect romantic relationship and should include all aspects of your relationship: physical, mental, and spiritual. Find photos that describe what you want.

• Complete the past. Start with your parents and siblings and end any incomplete relationships you’ve had.

• Prepare for your new relationship. Discard all memories of past relationships that represent a bond to that person. If he has left clothes or items at your house, return them. Clean your closet, desk, drawers, kitchen etc. Make energetic space for new things.

• Create awareness of your patterns. Make a list of all the reasons your previous relationships ended to see if you see similarities. For each reason write on a piece of paper “the reason why I create this in my life is….” Do this several times until you realize what your lesson is. Take responsibility for creating them, without blaming anyone else. If you don’t realize what you are doing, you will never be able to change it. Once you create consciousness, every time a similar situation returns to your life say NO.

• Make a list of your 10 favorite pleasures. Check off the ones that you have regularly experienced in your last significant relationship. Commit to having more pleasure in your life.

• Discover the most negative thought you have about yourself and create awareness every time it is activated in your life. Transform this thought into an affirmation and make it your Eternal Law. For example, if you think you are not important, change it to “I am the most important person in the Universe.”

• Develop good self-esteem.

• Learn to be alone and enjoy it.

• Take risks. Ask for what you want. Say yes when you want and no when you don’t want to. Learn to feel good when people say no, without feeling rejected. Be more assertive.

• Do what you enjoy.

•  Keep your eyes open. Remember that you are looking for someone who does not fit into your usual pattern, so you have to train yourself.

• Start with a friendship. Don’t get into a sexual relationship too quickly. This  creates a false sense of intimacy before it is real.

• When you start dating someone you care about, look at both the good and the bad. Don’t be blind.

  • Learn to tell the truth fast.
  • Be you, not the person the other wants you to be.

• Create a phrase that once one of you begins to say it, the other is committed to saying it as well. The sentence should be long enough so that neither of you keeps thinking the negative thought that started it. An example would be: We are having a wonderful relationship, full of love, understanding, good communication, respect, prosperity, wisdom, harmony, of total expression, living in spacious and beautiful places and enjoying more and more every day.

• Tell each other I LOVE YOU often.

• At the beginning of the relationship, do not force the other one to have obligations to the other’s family. This comes over time and has to come naturally.

• Choose the form you want your relationship to take. Remember each relationship is different and each couple is the one that determines the form. The important thing is that both agree.

• Focus on the positive.

• Never get married until you feel married.

• Develop friendships with other couples of similar tastes and attitudes.

(These ideas were taken from the book Two Hearts Are Better Than One by Bob Mandel.)

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The Treasure Map

The treasure map is another very powerful manifesting technique. Mapping is a lot of fun and it helps you focus your energy on what you want. As I have already mentioned in other blogs, we always create with our thoughts. The treasure map helps us to do it consciously.

There are many kinds of maps, of different shapes and sizes. They can be made on cardstock, copier paper, in a folder, in a box, etc. Use your creativity. You can do it with drawings, or with a collage of photos and words from magazines.

The first question you will ask yourself is what you want your map for. They can be for:

• Relationships

• Talents

• Education

•  Health

•  Job

•  Entertainment

•  Holidays

• Self help

How to do it:

• The map should be simple.

• With clear illustrations.

• Maps need words. These are very powerful.

• Use affirmations giving thanks because your wish is already given.

• Watch carefully what you are thinking as you build it and make affirmations of power canceling negative thoughts.

• Place in the center anything that means to you the power of God as the Source of all good and includes the cosmic affirmation “This, its equivalent or something better manifests for me NOW, for my good and the good of all, in harmony for those around me”.

• Include a photo of yourself with your name and images of people enjoying what you want with which you identify.

• Include any adornments that represent to you the achievement of your wish.

• Don’t forget to add money in some way, if the desired asset requires financing. This can be play money, canceled checks. The important thing is the symbol that all money that is needed will come to you.

  • Every day spend some time with your Treasure Map giving it energy.
  •  Focus on it.
  • Feel all the emotions that already having what you want represents for you.
  • Don’t hesitate or give it any negative thoughts.
  • Continually be grateful that it is already given.

The image was taken from https://www.sivanayla.com/2018/12/29/2019-resolutions/