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First Principle: The essence of our being is love.

The first principle of Attitude Healing says that the essence of our being is love. Love is eternal. The mind is unlimited; nothing is impossible. This principle is based on the premise that our true identity is spiritual rather than physical. Love is the part of us that is real.

And what is love? Love cannot be defined. It is an energy that contains everything that is Real, that which comes from the Creator. It is the unity of all that Is. It is the total absence of fear, which comes from the ego or thought of separation.

A few years ago, I went for hypnosis to see if it could improve my claustrophobia. I had a very interesting experience. Already immersed in the hypnotic state, the doctor told me to go to the first moment where I had felt claustrophobic. I immediately saw myself stuck alive inside a coffin in a boat that was going down a river. You can imagine the claustrophobia and fear that I began to feel at that moment. As soon as this state of claustrophobia began, the doctor told me to go to a place of peace. It’s incredible how instantaneously I went from fear to love, merely by concentrating on peace.

To begin to change the thoughts of fear that I had in my mind, the doctor reminded me that I was not that body, that my true essence is love, that my being is unbreakable and perfect. He told my unconscious mind that my body can die or get sick but that my being, which is love, is eternal. Having managed to feel that love that I am, devoid of all fear, has helped me tremendously all my life. I was able to experience in a moment of hypnosis that where I put my mind will determine if I am at peace and love or fear. It is as simple as that. Are you not at peace? Change your thoughts and choose again.

You don’t have to be in a hypnotic state to feel your essence. By closing your eyes and taking a few deep breaths disconnecting from your scary thoughts, or in a meditative state, you can feel it. Practice it until you make it. In this way, every time you find yourself disconnected from your true essence, by doing this process, you reconnect to the love you are.

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The Principles of Attitudinal Healing

On December 29, 2020, one of my favorite authors on A Course in Miracles-related topics passed away. Gerald Jampolsky, M.D. Dr. Jampolsky mentioned that when his life was upside down, a friend gave him a manuscript to read. The title of that manuscript was A Course in Miracles, which hadn’t been published yet. The content of this manuscript and the work he did with himself with the principles of the Course changed his life completely.

Dr. Jampolsky developed 12 Principles based on the philosophy fo the Course and he opened in Tiburon, California, a center to work with children with terminal illnesses, using these principles. His work was so successful, that it was expanded to include the parents and relatives of the children. Later, this work was exteded to anyone who needed healing their attitudes.

As a tribute to him, who taught me so much, I will dedicate my following 12 blogs to one of the Principles of Attitudinal Healing that he wrote about in his book, Teach Only Love. Gerald Jampolsky, MD, was the author of many books. He was an internationally recognized authority in the fields of psychiatry, health, business, and education. Jampolsky was a child and adult psychiatrist, a graduate of Stanford Medical School, an author, and an inspirational speaker.

I met Gerald Jampolsky in Puerto Rico when I was starting on my spiritual path. The impression that I got from him as a loving and caring person and the sense that his philosophy made to me led me to be trained as an Attitudinal Healing Facilitator.

In the Introduction to his book Teach Only Love, he wrote:

         As we emerge from the birth canal, we enter the world desperately struggling for breath. Most of us travel through life continuing to struggle feeling unloved and alone. All too often we are afraid – afraid of sickness and death; afraid of God; even afraid of continuing to live. Often we leave the world the same way we entered it-desperately struggling for breath.

I believe there is another way of looking at life that makes it possible for us to walk through this world in love, at peace and without fear. This other way requires no external battles, only that we heal ourselves. It is a process I call “attitudinal healing,” because it is an internal and primarily mental process. Properly practiced, it will, I believe, allow all of us, regardless of our circumstances, to begin experiencing the joy and harmony that each instant contains and to start our journey on a path of love and hope.

The mind can be retrained. Within this fact lies our freedom. No matter how often we have misused it, the mind can be utilized in a way that is so positive that at first it is beyond anything we can imagine. However, before the mind is retrained, it seems to be nothing but tightly locked compartments. We sense our potential, but it is held behind “closed doors.” ….(t)hese blocks are really only attitudes in need of healing, and because they are attitudes that we alone have chosen, they can be altered.

May he rest in peace, and his teachings keep helping millions.

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Do you run away from suffering?

Suffering is part of your life. No matter how much you change your situation so as not to suffer, at some point, it reaches you. The important thing is what you do with the suffering.

And why do you suffer? Your true essence is love. If your mind is full of thoughts of love, you will be at peace. If, on the other hand, the ego and thoughts of fear fill your mind, you will suffer, be it stress, anxiety, or any other emotion that arises from fear.

Suffering is an excellent opportunity to see what those thoughts are that take away your peace. They are usually part of your unconscious mind, so you need to play detective a bit. What you have learned so far is to look outside for the source of your suffering. So-and-so said such a thing to me, and it offended me. Or, that person did or didn’t do something to me and hurt me.

I invite you to do something totally different. When you are suffering, don’t run away from it. Stop and spend some time alone with yourself to see where the suffering is coming from. Search within yourself.

• What do you feel?

• What does that remind you of your childhood?

• What person from your childhood do you associate with that feeling?

•Once you manage to identify similar memories in your childhood, what decisions did you make about yourself? You may be seeing them outside of yourself and are now making you suffer?

Once you can answer all these questions, write them down in your notebook so that it’s easier for you to identify them in your future. Realize that the one reacting is your inner child, the part of you wounded from childhood that wants to be healed.

Give yourself a lot of support and love. Whenever a negative thought arises, repeat to yourself that it is not true and change it to a positive affirmation. This internal healing is a process. Little by little, you will realize that you no longer react to something similar with the same intensity as before.

The important thing is not to look outside but inwards every time something takes away your peace. Don’t run away from suffering. It can be your great ally in your healing process.

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The other side of COVID-19

Have you considered that there is another way of looking at COVID? When at the beginning of 2020, they announced COVID 99.999% of the world population panicked. I remember that I asked for everything from Instacart. When it arrived, I would enter the groceries and wash each item before putting it away. Other people left the bags outside, and they would spray Lysol on them. After they considered that everything was “purified,” they entered it. Before entering the house, they left their shoes outside not to infect the inside of the house. What I still don’t understand was the mass collection of toilet paper.

Here are some of the positives I saw:

• With the closure of schools and offices to work from home, I began to see other things. I remember that one day I heard children laughing. When I looked out the window, I noticed that parents were playing with their children in a green area on the other side of the lake behind my house. That only happened on weekends before COVID. I began to see them cycling, enjoying themselves as a family as they couldn’t do before.

  • I saw the difficulty of parents who had to work from home while their children went to school online. This motivated companies to realize that employees working from home had similar performances with less stress for those who had to travel more than an hour to work. It was possibly less expensive for the companies.

• Now, medical plans accept visits online. In situations where you don’t have to be in front of a doctor, you can “see” the doctor online, avoiding getting infected in an office where sick people go.

• Since there were almost no cars on the roads, pollution decreased.

• People saw animals walking the streets in some cities near fields or mountains.

• In the canals in Venice, the water cleared and fish could be seen.

• All of these changes have helped us do introspection and determine our priorities, putting aside things that are no longer important. In my case, this led me to find time to do what I felt I had to do for many years, this blog.

Although the situation is improving, it isn’t over yet. Each one has to decide whether to watch the news with the horrors mentioned, talk all the time about negative things, or look for the positive side and know that everything will be fine in the long run. This without detracting from the people who have suffered the loss of their loved ones.

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Look beyond appearances

A Course in Miracles reads, “Appearances deceive, but can be changed. Reality, is changeless. It does not deceive at all, and if you fail to see beyond appearances you are deceived. For everything you see will change; and yet you thought it real before, and now you think it real again. “(T-30.VIII.1.1-4)

And what are appearances, and what is reality? For the Course, what you see from your ego-mind are appearances since you can see a situation or a person in one way today and tomorrow in another. What is real never changes. Your real self is that part of you that knows that it has never separated from God. Reality is love, wisdom, compassion. Appearances are the product of judgment, of your perception of the moment. That is why it changes.

I’m going to give you a life situation so you can see it live and in full color. You project what you think outward and it’s what you know as the circumstances of your life. You see them and feel them as if they were real but if you change your way of thinking, tomorrow you will see them differently.

Imagine that you have a very unconscious thought that says that you don’t deserve and you can fill in the blank to what it is that you don’t deserve. It could be many things.

You have an appointment at 6 pm with your boyfriend whose cell phone ran out of battery. When he leaves to pick you up, he finds an accident on the road and he can’t call you to warn you. He arrives at 7 pm to pick you up.

All that time you’ve been furious because, at some level, you felt like you didn’t deserve him to call you. You aren’t going to see it that clearly because it’s in your subconscious but that’s the reason you are reacting like this. You think that he is inconsiderate, that he doesn’t love you enough, and many other thoughts that make you unhappy. When he comes you insult him without letting him speak. And you are sure that you have every reason to feel that way and to react as you are doing.

When he manages to explain what happened, you feel very badly for having reacted like that. Now you see the same event differently. What you saw, which was real to you, were only appearances that arose from your perception of the situation.

Reality is unchangeable. If instead of seeing the situation from your negative thoughts you had seen them through love, no matter what happened you would’ve been at peace at all times. You would’ve thought that your partner is a being of love and nobility and that if he didn’t arrive on time it had nothing to do with him or with you but with some circumstance beyond him. You wouldn’t have judged him and when he arrived you would have been in total love since that’s your true nature.

If you practice seeing things from love instead of from your mistaken perceptions, each time it’ll become easier and you’ll have many more moments of peace. You’ll be much more frequently in the reality of your being, which is love, rather than in the perceptions of the ego, which is fear. Try it.

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Don’t analyze, feel

I was recently talking to a dear friend who was at a crossroads, not knowing what decision to make. He told me that he had analyzed all the possible alternatives and that he still didn’t know which way to go.

Without a doubt, I’m sure that we’ve all been in a similar situation at some point in our lives and those who are younger and haven’t been there yet, soon will be.

I remember saying to him, “don’t analyze, feel.” And many will think, how can I not analyze? I have to weigh all the possibilities, do a thorough analysis, and then decide.

I tell you that there’s a much easier way. A Course in Miracles speaks of two figures that are in our mind, figuratively speaking, the ego and the Holy Spirit. We created the ego in that “crazy moment,” which occurred eons of years ago, as the Course says, where the Son of God, which we all are, thought that he had separated himself from God. On the other hand, the Holy Spirit is that part of our mind that knows that separation never happened. The ego speaks of fear, conflict, difficulties. The Holy Spirit speaks of peace, love, harmony. It will always direct you towards your good. The important thing is to learn to listen to it. To be able to listen to it you have to learn mental silence.

When you analyze a situation a lot, usually the ego is involved. Your mind goes a mile a minute and that causes you stress.

When you quiet your mind and let your intuition guide you, that’s your spirit speaking. When you stop to listen, your mind is at peace. You have to learn to trust your intuition. Sometimes it shows you a path that you hadn’t even contemplated, but if observing it brings you peace, that’s where you need to go. The how will emerge in due course.

Always remember that your compass is peace. Does what you are feeling gives you peace? Then that’s the way to go. Does it create conflict and stress for you? Then, that’s not the way to go. It’s that simple. What you have to do is trust that your spirit is the one that knows what is good for you and then follow it.

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Are you afraid of failure?

When I was studying law many years ago, this knowledge that I’m trying to share hadn’t reached me yet. The “I am not enough …” prevailed in me, that thought that paralyzed me.

I remember that the Supreme Court of Puerto Rico issued a case that totally changed the divorce procedure in Puerto Rico by establishing divorce by mutual consent.

After studying that case well, some ideas came to my mind and I thought I should write an article for the Law Review and I wrote it in my mind. Then I immediately thought, and who’s going to be interested in reading what I write? What I have to say isn’t important enough. And I didn’t write it.

A month later, a law article was published in another Law Review magazine written by one of the most renowned lawyers in Puerto Rico in the area of ​​family law. And guess what she was saying? The same thing that I would have said. It made me want to hit myself over the head because of my insecurities. Why was I so afraid of failure? Why the fear that people might think I wasn’t perfect if I didn’t do it right?

After a few years, A Course in Miracles came into my life. In this wonderful book I learned that “the tests you go through are nothing more than lessons that you have not yet learned that are presented again so that where you made a wrong choice before, you can now make a better one and thus escape the pain that what you chose previously caused you. ” T-31.VIII.3.1.

That event that I classified as cowardice stayed with me for many years. Once I learned what the Course said, I realized that it came from my thought that I was not capable enough, in this case, to write an article intelligently. From then on I started to be aware of each time that I didn’t do something because “I’m not enough or I’m not enough to….”  When a situation arose where my reaction was similar and I noticed it, I immediately chose again and brought out the courage within me to dare to do what I wanted to do. Little by little, it became part of my nature.

With this story, I want you to see that failure doesn’t exist. It’s merely teaching you the way things aren’t done. Next time, venture out to do what you want and if fear arises, treat it differently. Your life will start changing for the better.

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Abuse is NEVER ACCEPTABLE

Recently over two weeks, two women were murdered in Puerto Rico by their partners. I’m sure that you can replace the place and put any country and it would be the same.

Although in most cases the abusers are men, there are cases in which the abused is male, either by someone of the same or opposite sex. This blog is for both.

In the article entitled Understanding and addressing violence against women, the World Health Organization and the Pan American Health Organization https://oig.cepal.org/sites/default/files/20184_violenciapareja.pdf, explain the following:

Intimate partner violence refers to any behavior, within an intimate relationship, that causes or may cause physical, mental, or sexual harm to the members of the relationship. Some examples are listed below:

• Physical assaults, for example, slapping, hitting, kicking, or hitting.

• Sexual violence, for example, forced sex and other forms of sexual coercion.

• Emotional abuse, for example by insults, denigration, constant humiliation or intimidation (such as destroying objects), threats to cause harm, or to take children.

• Controlling and dominating behaviors, for example isolating a person from her family and friends, monitoring her movements, and restricting her access to financial resources, employment, education, or health care

Here are some things abusers do or say:

• You made me do this.

• You provoked me

• Bring you flowers or gifts and promise that it will never happen again.

In the previous article, the World Health Organization and the Pan American Health Organization indicate these parameters that must be met to eliminate the abuse of women:

• reform of legal frameworks in civil and criminal matters;

• dissemination and awareness campaigns to make the current legislation better known; F

• strengthening the civil rights of women in relation to divorce, property, and child support and custody;

• formation of coalitions between government and civil society institutions;

• establishment of the evidence base for sensitization and awareness raising;

• use of communication aimed at behavioral change to achieve social changes;

• transformation of entire institutions in each sector using the gender perspective; in particular, integrate attention to violence against women in sexual and reproductive health services;

• promoting the social and economic empowerment of women and girls;

• generation of comprehensive responses from services to survivors of intimate partner violence in the communities;

• creation of life skills programs and school curricula;

• encouraging the participation of men and boys to promote non-violence and gender equality;

• and offering early intervention services to families at risk.

A Course in Miracles expresses the following: You are free to believe what you want, and your actions bear witness to what you believe. (ACIM T.1. II.1.9) In other words, it’s not what they tell you, it’s what they do that determines how a person thinks. If you are in an abusive relationship, the abuser will not change. The abuse will continue. Run away, get help, do whatever it takes to protect yourself and your children.

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Do you live in the present?

Definitely, one of the things that I came to heal in this life, was my feeling that I was worthless, that I was not important enough. From a very young age I had an emptiness inside of me. Since I didn’t know anything about what I’m trying to teach here, I always thought that when something happened in my future, then, I would be happy.

When I was in first grade, it was going to be when I made my first communion. Then when I graduated from eighth grade and so on. Of course, when events came I was happy for a while and then the emptiness returned.

To a greater or lesser degree, we all do the same thing. We have expectations of our future. These expectations do not allow us to enjoy our present, which is the only thing we have.

The same happens when our mind is always in the past, thinking, consciously or unconsciously, that the future is going to be the same. This back and forth between what happened and what may happen causes fear and anxiety and doesn’t really lead to anything positive.

You are creating your life instant by instant. And how do you create it?

  • Live in the present moment all the time fully enjoying what you are living. Don’t wait to enjoy things when the perfect occasion comes. The perfect moment is now. Use it now.
  • Be alert to your thoughts about what you are experiencing, knowing that you created what you have with what you thought in the past.
  • If you attracted something that you don’t like, don’t judge it. The energy that judgment produces will bring you more of the same.
  • Accept whatever you are living and, if it’s not what you want, commit to changing the thought that produced it to a positive one.

The past is gone, it’s just an idea, a memory, and the future isn’t here yet, it’s also in your in. Live your present fully which is the only thing you have.

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Relationship with Our Children

Kahlil Gibran’s message that our children are not our children but children of the world who come through us should guide our relationship with them and be present within us even before we bring them into the world. The reward that parents have for accepting to be the channel of these beings who come to continue their evolution is the sublime experience of unconditional love that a child awakens in his parents.

With this thought of helping them in their development:

• It’s our responsibility as parents to guide them from a young age to find their mission in life.

• To discover the commitment they made to themselves before coming.

• We can do that not only by allowing them to develop their skills and talents, but by encouraging them to do so.

We all come with specific talents. These talents are what will direct us towards our mission. And how do we know what our mission is? The internal compass is our satisfaction and love for what we do. This will be learned by our children by our example.

• If we are working or doing what we love, satisfaction for our effort will be obvious.

• If, on the contrary, we do something that we don’t like, just because we are making money, to please others, or because of what others will say, we’ll be unhappy and that’s what they’ll learn.

The only way for them to discover their talents is by experiencing different things. Many times we as parents want to encase our children in what we believe is good for them.

• We force them to take classes in things that we like, without being aware of whether that’s what they like.

• Other times, children want to take classes in something that they later discover wasn’t what they wanted, and parents insist that they continue what they started.

There’s a fine line between leaving something because I don’t like it and leaving something because it’s becoming difficult for me. The way to find out is by learning to listen to what the heart tells us.

• We can help our children a lot by teaching them to be silent. As long as the mind is active we can’t listen to the heart.

• We teach them best by our example.

• Creating a habit in the family to dedicate a specific time each day to quiet the mind is the best gift we can give our children since it’ll serve them for a lifetime.

Balance is what determines whether we have inner peace or not. When our life is out of balance, because we are dedicating our time to one thing in neglect of others, chaos is created.

• One way for our children to learn this balance is by directing them to pay attention to nature and the teachings it offers us about harmony between its different elements.

• Through nature they also understand that change is an integral part of life and that it’s not to be feared.

• It’s through change that new things come into our lives.

• If we cling to the known we’ll deprive ourselves of new enriching experiences.

  • With our example we also teach them that the Universe speaks to us, but we have to learn to listen to it.

• When obstacles constantly appear in your way, it’s a way the Universe has to tell you, you’re going the wrong way.

• If we persist in continuing to struggle, we teach them that life is a struggle.

• If, on the other hand, we pause, knowing that the right moment will be shown to us, we will teach them to be patient or to discern if it’s the right time for them.

• If in our interaction with other family members we impose our criteria, we are teaching them to be selfish.

• If, on the contrary, we listen and take into account what other people think, we teach them healthy coexistence and respect for others.

It is a great privilege to be a parent. Much of the path of our children’s development depends on us.